“Do not make someone a priority when all you are only to them is an option” Maya Angelou.
“Better the evil you know than the evil you do not know.”
“Lie have short legs”.
“Forgive, maybe. Forget, never”.
We all have saying that we grew up with or picked up along the way. I have four that somehow have found their way into my life. Each time something happens, I am drowned back to them. They bring clarity back into my life or what is happening at that specific moment. No matter how much we want to live with the rose colored glasses, sooner or later those saying / provers will resonate.
Lies have short legs.
My grandmother used to say this. When you tell a lie or are fed a lie, sooner or later the truth will come out. Usually sooner, as lies are hard to keep in line and like short legs, they cannot run far.
You can almost spot a liar a mile away as they have most of the same characteristics, or at least those are the one that I have noticed more often.
- Of course they swear up and down that they are innocent and get mad, irate even.
- Trying to cover his/her own behind
- Hate the fact that you discover what they were hiding and get mad
- Work their wording in such a way that you question yourself and all of the sudden you become the bad guy and them the victim.
- They ask you to repeat yourself – another great way to buy time so they can come up with more non sense to feed you and and everyone around.
You know the type, right? When you know someone you can tell by their voice, pre-disposition, down to the body language. I knew someone that as soon as they were ready to give you a fat juicy one, their voice went up an octave and completely change their delivery. The nose twinged, the shoulders moves up and down, the head went back. Quite funny as it was a perfectly synchronized routine.
I love this one. I usually sit back, cross my arms and wait to come on. Like a precision laser cutter, sure enough the lie lands, out in the open air for all to enjoy.
Do not make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.
When I first saw this I cried. This cuts deep with me. With life up-evil we all try to find some sobriety, even though we may be lying to ourselves because we want this perfect synergy in our life. I never believed I could place someone in the position to become an option to them. But I allowed it. The fault is mine. How one can see all that is in front of itself and yet still believe that it is not, it is surreal to me. Taking life as the mirage in the desert sand.
The trust was obliterated already and somehow they wrap you again and take you into the turmoil of their own insecurities. Allow them to slowly change who you became, the person that took years to put back together, grew and had come to peace with life.
This insatiable hate and disdain that resonate on the condescending and down right abusive way they talk when they want to be the victim so they can get sympathy. Actually that always has been their way. You would think that after so many years you can see it coming. However, when the heart meddles with your head, let’s face it you are sitting on the losing end.
As a result, those words, words of wisdom keep coming back and back. Each time stronger and stronger. Each time making more sense. Each time, shedding a light on a picture that is shattered, will never be put back together no matter how much you try.
Better the evil you know that the evil you do not know
As humans we all fear the unknown no matter how hard we try, our insecurities or fears are winning this one. But sometimes you have no choice. Years ago I was faced with this. A cheating husband and a monster of married mistress who wanted me dead and live my life. I had to make the decisions to take a leap of faith. No time to linger on all the pros and cons. The writing was on the wall. They wanted it all and after a substantial number of years married I was supposed to walk away with nothing and give more. Fears lived in within me for weeks. What I am going to do? Leave it all? Leave this wonderful life, at least I thought it was wonderful, that we had created because someone want it? Jump feet first. I did.
I am here to tell you that how scary it is, how hurtful and painful it is, you will be ok. The other side is not that scary as we think, as we are the masters of our own destiny and how we created and lived the “evil that we know” we can recreate it again, and better this time, with the “evil we do not know” Actually, if you look at it from that perspective, it is a brand new page of our life that we get to re-write. That is the silver lining for all the hell we go thru to get there.
Forgive, maybe. Forget, never
I was 12 years old when I first heard this one. In was in my music class and I wrote it down on the casing of my music recorder. I still have it.
I am French and we see things in a different light sometimes. We are not vindictive. We are more of the laissez faire world. Until you do something to us to hurt us and then all the walls are going up. Forgiveness is not something that we give easily. You have been hurt and that is not a laughing matter. Not something that you place under the rug because they are your family, they did not mean to, they did not know what they were doing and on and on with the verbal vomit that you give yourself to justify your fear of cutting the cord. Of course there is all levels of hurt. I am only referring to the bruised ego here. The emotional hurt. The heart hurt.
Meanwhile, I have learned that if you forgive your walls are coming down, you are more open and free and yet more exposed, more vulnerable. However, NEVER forget. In my own life experience the persons that I have given a second chance, forgave and forgot most of what they have done, bammmh!!! they are the one hurting you again each time they get the opportunity to.
So why I am telling you all this? Sometimes in life we need to see in writing what we feel, our emotions. Maybe nothing will resonate with you, but maybe something small can be what you needed to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It sure has been for me.