What is happening to men today? I love to people watch, it is a women’s thing. I get mesmerized by the whole picture. How people dress. How they present themselves to the world. The attitude towards others.
Since we have starting to be mask-free, we finally can have that human contact again therefore I went shopping. Actually, I was more of the come-along than shopping, thus had lots of time to look at my surroundings.
So, here I am at the PGA golf store. People are coming in. Great to see business picking up again. Here I am at the entryway and staring. Just staring at the crowd walking into the store. And it dawned on me: What the heck is happening to men today? In a two-hour time span, my eyes have seen things that cannot be unseen.
I am still in shock.
I never saw so many beer bellies. Tee shirts that are way too big. Ungroomed. Dirty clothes. The most unatrractive colors. And some which personal hygene left the building a while back.
Where do I start the discectomy? From head to toe, the whole ensemble of the male species needs to be taken apart.
Let’s start with what we see first: the head.
All hairdressers are back to work and they will welcome you with open arms. Their scissors are ready to cut whatever has been going on over your head.
And this brings out another point. Do you know how not attractive you are when you color your hair? Yes, we can see and smell that you do use color. Why do you must color your hair so dark or that mousy brown/red color that is so unnatural? If you must color, found the color that best suits you and pays attention to your temple, which is the first part that gives it away and the back of your neck.
A men with a natural gray hair is so much more sexy, charming and presents a lot more poise and self confidence. Trust me on this one. Color is nice when you are young and stupid, but not when you are getting mature in age.
Is there a shortage of razors? I do not mind a beard. Some men look mighty attractive with one. However, a beard needs to be maintained and groomed. Lose, stringy facial hair all over the place is not attractive.
It is time you started investing in some grooming tools. Here are a few suggestions for you. Nothing fancy therefore you should not be scared. I haven’t gotten to the scary part yet.
Start by putting a smile on your lips. For Pete’s sake! You are, after all, inside a beautiful golf store and obviously, you like the sport. Happiness should be transcending upon your smile, not these sour lemon-pinched lips that every man that walked in sported. Why the nasty look? You are out and about shopping for your favorite sport and you look mad at the world. Considering that most of you were alone, some with a wedding ring on, you should be happy to be alone, unattended, shopping away.
Your skin looks gray with a lifeless color and if you did not shave, you look not attractive to anyone. Do you know that it is ok for a man to use skincare? Surprise! Surprise! Yes, you can.
There are so many wonderful companies that you can use. Your face and body are as important as a women’s face and body. Treat it well and keep it nourished and healthy.
So important. You squint every time you are outside. Squint when you are at your computer or looking at your phone. Your eyes are the window of your soul, treat them well. Nourish them.
If you are afraid to go to the department store and select what you need, here is a link to a wonderful dermatology-inspired skincare product line that will not break the bank and is delivered to your doorsteps.
Life made it easy. You are welcome!
Light brown, gray, an undesirable color between brown and gray should not exist. Any colors that resemble the coloring of a rat and a ground squirrel should be left alone. Why wear such a blank color which brings out the worse tone-dead undertone? I guess you must have watched too many zombie movies that you think you are one.
There are so many flattering colors that upgrade your wardrobe just by adding some deep blue, green, white, or anything that does not look like a rat color.
Size matters. What in the world happened to the size of clothing? Did everything go to XXXXL and that is it? Why do you must wear a tee-shirt that is way the heck too big? Seriously? Don’t you look at yourself in the mirror before leaving the house? Scary!!
Trying to cover that beer belly with an oversized shirt, is a call to look at your beer belly. Just saying…
Holes in your shirts, really!!!
Dirt and holes, what is happening here? Do not give me the line: It is the weekend look! I see that every day of the week and this is gotten out of control.
I know you have a garbage bin where you can toss all those Swiss cheese tee-shirts. If your washing machine is broken, it needs to be fixed.
And personal shoppers are there to assist you in picking the right size clothing for you. Even better, you are allowed to try your clothes before buying them, or return them if they do not fit. What a concept! Who knew!
Baggy, way past below the knees, shorts
Another head-scratcher. Hello!!! Anybody there? Have you forgotten to pull up your shorts? You do have a waist, you know, you can use it. Do not let your pants hang low on your waist that somehow the leg part covers your mid calf. Going back again to select the right size.
Do you know that a correct size pair of shorts will make you look taller and leaner? Cargo pants are great if you are paying attention not to fill out every single pocket with god’s know what. Your wallet needs trimming too. I do not ever want to hear a man complain about a woman’s purse and yet their wallet is a thick as a triple burger.
Did the shoe stores do not have shoe sizes anymore? Or, are you too lazy to try your flip-flops before buying them? Stunning how many men wearing two sized too big flip flops that will not allow you to pick your feet thus shuffling. So irritating and unattractive.
And please treat yourself to a pedicure, trust me you will love it. The nail technician may not like you at first, however, your partner will thank you.
Forgot! Sports shoes should not be worn too big either. And if you chose to wear socks with sandals, do us all a favor and get the right size that does not cover the other half of your calf. I am referring to the half that is not covered by your way too long shorts.
In that case, wear pants. However, I fear of what you will wear…
One more thing, posture. When you walk do not slouch, keep your head high, shoulders back, and chest out. If we wanted to see a primate we will go to the zoo.
And if you are wondering where all this comes from,
It is not out of bitterness or resentment towards men. Let’s face it there only two sex on this earth. I am referring here, to the sexual organs, anatomically created, that you are born with between your legs.
We enjoy your company, your intellect, sometimes, as well your sense of humor. Let’s face it we must cohabitate, may as well enjoy looking at you. We, as the opposite sex, spend way too much time to please you, please try to reach us at least halfway.
And before I get hate mail, let me clarify this: I am not in any way form, or shape trying to be insulting to sexual orientation, which has nothing to do with what I am talking about. And, I am sure if you take a step back, you will agree with me on some of the above points.
Personally, I happen to enjoy men. Blessed to have a couple of wonderful brothers and a few close to my heart men friends. I am also happily married to a wonderful man that if let to his own devices he still will not dare wear that ugly tee-shirt in public.